The life in a small house was miserable. Travelling was an escape and money was my passion.
One day, my mother broke in tears. She pleaded me to change my attitude. But, I had made the decision. On that evening, under the shade of crimson rays of setting sun, I left my house.
It’s been twenty years and today I’m known as a wealthiest person of the country. I owned a large amount of property but my health is deteriorating.
Doctors have advised me to spend some time away from noise.
So, sitting beside the window of my castle, I’m looking at the calm sea. The dinner is served and the smoked chicken is ready but I’m not hungry.
Doctors are trying to figure it out but the aroma of food has no effect on me. This island is my refuge from the world ,but today my heart is heavy with the weight of my wrongdoings.
No one knows that poverty stricken faces of my siblings still haunt me in my dreams.
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This is my submission to Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers.This weeks photo prompt is provided by TJ Paris. Thank you TJ!
The word count is 155. Many thanks to Priceless Joy for hosting this event.
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My words, My life 
You say so many things in so little space. Kudos! The last line touched my heart. There is information, there is knowledge and as well there is wisdom in the story.
Such a nice one! 🙂
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I feel honoured to have such a beautiful comment. It encourages me to write more and better.
Thank you for your time in reading this 🙂
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This writing sure deserves one.. 🙂
My pleasure..
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There’s a problem with this story…it’s too short!! 🙂 It has captivated me and I want to read more…you packed so much in so few words! If you are looking for something to write about, elaborate on this I must know how it ends… 😉 Well done!!!
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🙂
Well, that’s what flash fiction is all about 🙂
Your comment makes me feel happy as it shows that I’ve ‘little bit” succeeded in arousing curiosity here. As, for elaboration, I’d definitely think about it 🙂
Thanks for your valuable feedback!
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😊
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Maybe a good cure for his deteriorating health would be to use some of the money he’s accumulated to help other people living in poverty… Good story. 🙂
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True, helping others could minimize his pain 🙂
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Being wealthy doesn’t always bring happiness. In this case, the guilt and sorrow at having left his siblings to live in poverty for 20 years is making him ill and his life unbearable. Perhaps it isn’t too late for him to do something about it? Nice story, naturelover. 🙂
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You are absolutely right millie!
I wish no one suffer from such feelings. The thread of human relationship is not only precious but it is also delicate. Only, pure and selfless heart can realize its importance!
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I like your title it’s catching. I can feel the sadness and lonileness of the narrator going back to when he left and considering his wrong doings now that he/she is wealthy. And that sentence was excellent way to allude to the poverty faced by the siblings compared to the seagulls who eat plenty. Does this make sense?
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Thanks Mandi!
Have you read PJ’s comment?
I wrote it under the title “The Haunted Dream of a Lost House”. Later I changed it to “Restless Heart”.
In the sentence ” flock of seagull eating fish outside is luckier”. I want to allude to the helplessness of the narrator. He’s hungry but he can’t eat the food.
I have removed it in my revised version.
Do you think if it would be nice to include it in a story?
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Oh I see. Yes the fishing line would be good to allude to the food the narrator can’t eat. I think your new title is better. Great story.
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Many thanks for your time in reading and responding 🙂
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I think you told us a lot about the narrator in the story which is well done due to the limit of words. “The Haunted Dream of a Lost House” is fine. Sounds as though He/She is having haunted dreams about their Lost House. But it could also mean lost childhood, or lost innocense. It is an unusual title. I think that the sentence about the flock of seagul eating fish outside is luckier, to me, is saying, “the seaguls are free and I am not.” I personally think that the sentence, “the aroma of food has no effect on me,” speaks more of the suffering than the seaguls. It tells me she/he is starving to death because he can’t eat or can’t enjoy eating his food. The very last sentence is the meat of the matter. This could be why his health is deteriorating and why food doesn’t appeal to him. It was a very nice story and I enjoyed reading it. I think you captured a lot of emotion in it. Well done Nature Lover!
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Many thanks pj for your detail response. You are very right in answering my questions.
It was really helpful for me 🙂
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I enjoyed reading your story, as always!
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