in Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers 209 Words

The story of a fort!

The sound of a horn was a call of warning. Nevertheless, it charged the riders.

Snorting of horses was heard. The next moment, earth shook under the clatter of their hooves and the two armies collided with each other. The clanking of swords brought the smell of horror and the ground became red with the blood.

I was still under the charm of that place when the voice of my teacher brought me back to reality.

“Time to go back students”, she was saying.

While sitting in the bus, I recalled my history lesson. For, a long time the fort remained unconquered. Then a force of gallant soldiers raided it. It’s considered as a bloodiest chapter in the history of war.

The number of casualties was large but at last, the fort was conquered. I looked back upon that symbol of glory.

The sun was bright and its worn out walls were shining. Perhaps, they were smiling at the bravery of soldiers who were resting in a mass grave behind it.

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This is my submission to FFfAW-Week of 08-11-2015. The word count is 170. This week’s photo prompt is provided by Sonya with the blog, Only 100 Words. Thank you Sonya!

Thanks Priceless Joy for holding this event.

27 thoughts on “The story of a fort!”

  1. A really enjoyable read, Madeeha. I like the way you start with the horn. It’s a good way to let readers know that action is about to take place. I also love the idea of this being a history lesson. Visits to historical sites are excellent for teaching purposes. (I taught history for many years)..
    Great imagery, too. Well done!

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  3. A good story with some great imagery. It’s amazing how visiting historical sites can fire the imagination. I thought I’d point out that in the last paragraph is should be ‘shining’, not ‘shinning’. 🙂

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  4. Perhaps they were smiling :). I just have to say this- love the last paragraph, it had a soothing wrap up to the story and your description of the battle with the clanking of swords really charged the story.

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    1. Thanks Mandi!
      It means a lot.
      “The sound of a horn was a call of warning. Nevertheless, it charged the riders.”
      I wonder if it is right to use “sound” and “call of warning” in a same sentence. My sister thinks that this sentence needs some amendments. I’ll be glad of you’ll give your feedback here.

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    1. Many thanks PJ. Your kind comments are always inspiring 🙂
      I’ll be glad if you’ll analyse this piece. There are two questions which I’d like to ask
      1. Does the opening sentence of story is creating a scene in which the sound of a horn is leaving a strong impact upon soldiers?

      2. I’ve a feeling that while writing story I sometimes misses rhythm. Have you felt same here?

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      1. The horn in the opening sentence clearly calls the soldier into battle. I think your writing put emphasis on that just perfectly.

        I’m not sure what you mean by rhythm, but your writing is almost “poetic” which I think is very lovely.

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would love to have your lovely comments