Today, father while talking to my younger sister about her studies advised her to remember that in no case person has any right to blame others for his failures in life.
These days when my sister is facing problems in her school, my father is busy in motivating her in her studies. I heard him saying that if you’re not succeeding then remember you’re doing something wrong, so instead of blaming others you must try to find faults in yourself.
While hearing conversation between father and my sister, I remember reading Gifted Hands, in the beginning of the book Sonya Carson, mother of Ben Carson, writes a letter in which she shares a poem named “Yourself to Blame” by Mayme White Miller. I like the message of this poem
If things go bad for you
And make you a bit ashamed,
Often you will find out that
You have yourself to blame…
Swiftly we ran to mischief
And then the bad luck came.
Why do we fault others?
We have ourselves to blame…
Whatever happens to us,
Here are the words to say,
“Had it not been for so-and-so
Things wouldn’t have gone that way.”
And if you’re short of friends,
I’ll tell you what to do
Make an examination,
You’ll find that fault’s in you…
You’re the captain of your ship,
So agree with the same
If you travel downward,
You have yourself to blame.
She further writes that remember this as you go through life. The person who has the most to do with what happens to you is you! You make the choices; you decide whether you’re going to give up or ante up when the going gets tough. Ultimately, it’s you who decides whether you will be a success or not, by doing what is legally necessary to get you where you want to go. You are the captain of your own ship.If you don’t succeed, you only have yourself to blame.
That poem is a miracle! Very true! It’s always good to start within. 🙂
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Sure, it’s. I like this poem and I loved reading the book (:
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The poem is indeed a gem. One needs to introspect and find the faults and try to rectify the same instead of indulging in blame-game.
Very nice post. Liked it. 🙂
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You are absolutely right in your analysis of post. Thank you for your kind presence.
I appreciate 🙂
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Oh Madeeha this is so true! What a wonderful post and poem. Boy she sure hit the nail on the head!! Your father is a very wise man and apparently you have learned from his wisdom! 🙂
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Yeah, Deb this wisdom is all about experience of our parents. Have you heard of this book? it’s a good book and story of Ben. Carson is really inspiring!
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Yes the wisdom of our parents is something not to overlook but to draw from. If only more of us would learn and appreciate that, we be the wiser for it too!!
I saw the movie, it was wonderful, so inspiring and very touching.
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I too saw the movie first, then started looking for book. Didn’t find it and one day finally received it as a birthday gift. A surprise gift from my sister 🙂
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What a wonderful gift, your sister was quite thoughtful in her selection, knowing that you were looking for it. 🙂
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Yep, she’s 🙂
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Thanks for sharing Madeeha. You are right, a lot of the time, we are responsible for own bad situation. But I have to say, there are often times, when we are subject to things out of our control. We have power over how we respond, but we are still victims to what hurts us. Cancer for instance. One of my best friends in 30 years old and going through stage 4. Or, the mental illness many experience, they can’t help they have it, only how they react to having it. I don’t think in Italy, those caught in an earthquake were responsible for not knowing a giant earthquake was coming. Its a good saying, but there are people outside ourselves, and things outside ourselves which affect us.
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Mandi, you’re so very right in your thoughts here. That reminds me of Thomas Hardy, when he talked about power of fate, he was declared pessimistic but actually he was “realistic”. Some factors are beyond human control and such is the power of fate and such is the power of Divinity that we can’t avoid getting expose to some situations in life.
And then failure in exams due to lack of hard work is what we’re capable of improving, it’s our own mistake for which we can’t blame our teachers. Same is the case with our wrong decisions and apprehensions which at times could lead us to devastating results.
Again, health issues or natural calamities are something which are beyond human control but then in other cases, a brave heart of a person is needed to own the responsibility of his own faults.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
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